The Importance of the Phallus

Today I had a class where I was, once again, told to look out for phallic symbols. According to numerous modules I have studied at my University, who have pocketed £9,215 for the pleasure of teaching me, the phallus is Very Important. Any mention of a phallic symbol is guaranteed to get a nod of approval from your seminar leader, especially if you can relate it to gender issues or Freudism. I'm afraid that I may fail my degree, for I appear to disregard these phallic symbols too quickly. They don't jump out at me. I don't see the relevance. Am I missing a trick here? How important is the phallus in every day life?

Today I toyed with the idea of becoming a food journalist. I'm sure many people consider this option at some point in their lives - the idea of eating food for a living is instantly appealing. I'm thinking of writing an assignment for my Journalism module on the hunt for the perfect 'San Francisco burrito' in London. This is a topic close to my heart, something that generates great enthusiasm and passion instantly. I've already spent three years investigating this tough task and can accurately describe each burrito that has been tested ("too ricey", "too healthy" and "too salady" spring to mind). Could this be my pathway into a burrito-filled career? Will I be commissioned to write a book about my journey finding the ultimate cheesy, not-too-ricey treat?

I can only conclude that to succeed in this mission I must look hard for a phallic symbol. This is what my University has taught me. Maybe, for each burrito, I could include a phallic rating. The winning burrito would have to not only consist of the right amount of cheese, frijoles and salsa, but would also have to resemble a large penis.